Although the literal meaning of "Relationship" isn't anything bad but the practical meaning in reality has defaced the meaning of the term. I mean how people have turned it to be has really made the relationship bad.
I'm in no support of any relationship that would destroy your life, waste your time and impede your progress in life.
I often get surprised why many people in a relationship behave as though they are married.
When you place your 'lover' in the position of God or would honor him/her more than your parent, there's no sense in that. When he calls, her heart melts; when she calls, he becomes crazy in love. Is this love or infatuation?
There are many of these relationship that have ruin the lives of many teenagers and youths. 'Had I know' usually describes their regrets after engaging in such a destructive relationship.
Are you just thinking of having, maintaining or changing your boyfriend/girlfriend? Before you do, I'd like you to think on the following points:
1. Know what you want
If you don't know what you want in life, certain things will look like what you want. Just because many people do not know what they want in this kind of relationship, everything seem like what they want.
They are beaten and pampered, abused and petted, heart broken and neglected.
When you know what you want, you'll be able to stand against what you don't want. The essence of this is to define your relationship.
Ask, are we for marriage, friendship or 'sexual' relationship? Although the latter cannot be defined but what you do with you body will define it.
When you know what you want, you'll be able to stand against being used, abused and disused.
2. Love isn't sex
Read that again! Everybody wants love but only few understands what love is. It is normal to feel loved but there's more to love than sexor all those 'romance' play.
Love is in commitment and sacrifice to people who matters to you in life. In marriage, love is expressed as lovemaking and becoming faithful to your partner and marital vows.
Using sex as a means of expressing love will only lead to regrets and expose you to its daring consequences.
3. Set boundaries
He that breaks the hedge, the serpent shall bite. No matter how smart you think you're, going beyond the boundary, if any, will lead to regrets.
You're mortal and there's a point you'll reach where you loose 'control'. A point will come when kissing or hugging will become dis-satisfying. It is best not to cross it the boundary.
What are boundaries? Defining limits of what can be done or what must not be done. For instance, saying NO to kissing, bear hugs and the likes will save you from gravitating to an erotic realm of sexual passion.
But if there are no boundaries, one person will cross the line and the other person will become a victim.
4. Pleasure or Purpose?
Your relationship can only work when you know the difference between pleasure and purpose.
You cannot achieve success if your relationship is pleasure oriented. If you pursue pleasure, be certain that failure, loss and regrets aren't far fetched.
Show me a relationship where purpose is pursued and I will tell you it's a successful one. If what brought you two together is a thing of substance and worth, then you'll make an enviable relationship even if it would not lead to marriage.
Examine your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, are you pursuing purpose or pleasure? If you haven't gone too far, you can now make amends, define your relationship and set boundaries.
Now ask yourself, is this relationship serving me a worthy purpose or we're only fulfilling pleasure? Before you'd become a victim in that relationship, it is better you make wise decision now.
If all you do in your relationship is nothing but kissing, petting, fondling, sexting or engaging in erotic conversation, then you're not far from been bitten. It is better not to be bitten than to be shy (face the consequence).
Is it possible to have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where purpose will be pursued and not pleasure?
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